Saturday, 5 March 2016

Building Conversation

Today I sat in a room with people I know only a little, and had a 90 minute Conversation Without Words. A strange experience. I found I had a conversation mostly with myself about how I am in a group and what I look for in communication. I could so easily have sat quietly watching. I felt no great compulsion to reach out and make connections. Such pleasure in just watching.

When I chose to make eye contact, I found it hard to hold at first. I didn't know how to move on from that first warm feeling to a narrative conversation. So I sought activities to share to precipitate connection. It felt like when toddlers play alongside each other rather than together. I built a tower of cups and yearned to start a silent game of charades.

Come the end I found I enjoyed the pleasure of simply looking someone in the eye without need to communicate anything other than the joy of smiling at someone, and noticing things about them I never had before. It felt calm and restful and ever so filling.

As everyone left I stayed there to see what the space might feel like without anyone else in it. Immediately it turned from a place of comfort to a strangely lonely and empty room. For someone who loves solitude, perhaps that was the biggest discovery of all.

I loved Building Conversation and I'm so pleased to have tried it out. Can't recommend it highly enough. Will be booking onto all four conversations at Norfolk & Norwich Festival in May.

See you there!

You can see more about it, and book tickets at


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A conversation is an exercise; an exercise in being together. You open up to the other and look at yourself, how you respond and could respond. Over and over we find out that this is very exciting to do. And again and again we experience what we are giving: a new perspective on ourselves and the other, new insights, new contacts. You will be able to make other connections and develop refreshing thoughts, with each other.

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